I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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