we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.