We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.