Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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