I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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