I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
