so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.