**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.