Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐