can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize