You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"