Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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