dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
