1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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