I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
