walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
