The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Pants are for mortals
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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