lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Mom said you looked used
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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