But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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