we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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