Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
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Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
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HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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