Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so let's talk penis.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize