Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
