it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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