I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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