Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize