It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
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