I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize