you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
