get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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