im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
