Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
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Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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