I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
