i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY