we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
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i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
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I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?