Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
its not stalking. its research.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?