look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize