I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
