we have pet lesbian snakes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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