Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
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Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
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Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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