my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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