how can u be prego again
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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