I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
