Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
