All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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