i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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