The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
