If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
