This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
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never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
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He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds