My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.