No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!