I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fence marks all over my body
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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