the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize