I just cut my nipple shaving
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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