The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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