You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
is it fun? or sober?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
