He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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