its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
