it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize